My Other Half

My other half
April 30, 2007

I thought we were a team
I pitch, you catch
I talk, you laugh
I walk, you follow
I lay down and you swallow

I should know better
Then to trust you again
I should know better
You’re more like my enemy
Then my best friend

I should be stronger
When you yank tighter on my noose
I should be fonder
Of this silent yet deadly abuse

I should tread lighter
When I am walking two by two
I should be more of a fighter
When I am in the ring with you

I should not shudder
When I hear breaking glass
My eyes should no longer flutter
When your fist heads my way pretty fast

I shouldn’t be surprised
At anything you say or do
I shouldn’t be shocked
None of this is brand new

I should just sit there and take it
No matter how much I hate it
Because Its all my fault Im here
Because not only do I live in you
But I live in fear

Fear that you will leave
And find your way somewhere else
Fear that you will take another
Heart, hand and selfish self
Fear that you will close the door to me
That I have made a mistake, not once but three
Three times an idiot
As they say
My other half you’re not
Just a poor mistake

Feelings

Feelings
April 30, 2007

Hopeless
I stare at my reflection
And know it

Lonely
I look around me and see nothing
And feel it

Anger
I am full of it and it shows
My hatred for everything grows

Loathing
I drown in it
No matter how hard I try to swim

Sorrow
I am deep in it
I cant see past my own tears anymore

Mistrust is all I know
Questions with no answers is all I can show
My heart is swimming and my blood’s full flow
Of tears that encase my hollow shell
Full of bitter angst
And vehement wonders of paradise

Im trying to hold on to something that is not mine
I am clawing at my skin
And hoping that I will find
Peace and solace within my fears
And strength within my gilded tears

Sometimes it just doesn’t get better
Sometimes I bear this sacred letter
And then again
Sometimes there is just nothing
I am just a ball of mismatched ends
Dying in your arms tonite

Rope

April 5, 2007

Rope

At the end of my rope
I look for some more slack
I am hoping to hang myself
And never look back

I’m breaking off a piece of me
In you
Don’t you see?

You have done this to me
Caused this great fatality
You have made me blind to reality

I’m drowning in my own tears
My dreams are now turning into my worst fears

I am being smothered
Teased and tattered
Burned and broken
Fallen and unspoken
All over the floor completely shattered

My heart is empty
My eyes are cold
My arms lay broken
Yet I sit here and do what I am told

You direct me and order me
Like I am your slave
You push me and irk me
You’re just a coward no longer brave

I wish you could feel the burn
Of the rope around my neck
I wish you could feel the pain
When life is squeezed out of you
When there is nothing left of you
But the strings that remain

Invisible

April 2, 2007

Invisible

Invisible kisses
Lace my thoughts
As I dream about your lips on mine

Your words flow out
Like a tainted breath
I am edging closer and closer
To love’s worse death

Your scent is dissipating
In my sheer loneliness and sorrow
The thoughts of you holding me
Disappear into tomorrow

I try to trace your face with my fingers
I wrap my heart around your love
I am getting lost in what we once were
I am suffocating
From the fumes that rise above

If you could only hear my cries
And know that I never want to say goodbye
You would be here with me
In a way that you no longer can be
You would be my savior
My complete and utter destiny

It’s like I can walk on water
And you are at my path’s end
You are my other half,
My lover, my one and only best friend

I speak softly to you
Hoping my words will guide you to me
Praying that when I reach my journey’s end
You will come home and we can finally be free.