Slipping

February 25, 2007

Slipping

The days are slipping
Faster then sand through an hourglass
Except my heart can’t quite keep up
And I am fading out fast

Like a burned out star
Who melts from the sun
I am not gaining a piece of me
Yet I am losing someone

Ripped from my soul
I saw them slowly tremble away
Will they return to me soon?
Seems more like forever and a day

I try to keep busy
And ease the creatures in my mind
I try to look forward
But I am living in what is not mine

Stuck in cement
My heart dribbles through the cracks
It’s hard to piece it together
Won’t you ever come back?

Wishing and waiting
And hoping some more
I stare at the window
As my tears encase the floor

I know this will subside
As soon as light hits my hallow heart
But how much more can I swallow?
How much longer will we be apart?

When you return to me
I will be waiting with open arms
My heart will be able to smile again
The world will be buzzing
And sounding its internal alarms

Gone

Gone*
February 1, 2007

Dear Shari,Here is your horoscopefor Thursday, February 1:Believe it or not, but you do have a say in the final outcome. In fact, people might actually be looking to you to see what they should do next. Assume the mantle of leadership. After all, you wear it so well.


Quiet,
Motionless
I lay with my head in my hands on my knees on the floor
Wishing I could have just one hour, one minute more.

Broken,
Barely breathing
I reach for you
Yet you’re nowhere near
I speak to your heart
And whisper in your ear

Thoughts of loving you
And memories that we made
They dance around us like angels
And sparkle like fireworks in a parade

I long for your sweet touch
As you hold me through the night
I will never stop loving you
Never give up this fight

You are my world
My thoughts
My smiles
I will never love another
Like this for the longest while

If you stay I wont ever let you go
I know now what I need
And I know I don’t want to see you go

The days will get longer
The light will get stronger
My body will become weaker
And my soul will be meeker

If you ever loved me
You would truly know
That no matter what you do
Or where you go
I will always love you so

Please remember me when you’re gone
Let me embody your thoughts,
Your soul,
Your dreams
Let me be the one

Antsy

January 25, 2007

Antsy

Ants in my pants
In my heart and in my soul
Crawling and digging
Making my insides their new home

I’m nervous,
I’m shaking
I am completely all over the place
You can see it in my hands trembling
In my knees quivering
And in the terror written across my face

I feel like I’m falling
With no net and no direction
This feeling is not new to me
But yet more of a fond affection

Watching and waiting
As time seems to drip from year to year
I find myself more and more unsure each and every day
Trying to be who you want me to, my dear

Creepy and eerie
Their tiny claws dig deeper
I can feel them in my head now
More and more they have become my greatest feature

Pulling me in all directions
I feel like a piece of broken spirit
Each moment that passes me by
Not only can I see myself deteriorating
But I can eminently feel it

They have made their way into my eyes now
They have burrowed and plundered and are hiding, but how?
How could I have let them venture this far?
How could I have let myself become a burned out star?

Hoping for some clarity
I let them travel into my heart
My blood is racing and spilling out
I begin to tear my skin apart
I rip and shred myself until there is nothing left
Bones and insecurities protrude
And I start to go unyieldingly deaf

I cannot hear the world around me
Nor see what I have done
But still the ants are predominate
It looks like they have won

Blind

October 16, 2006
Blind

I pretend that I don’t see
What’s really inside of me
I will not turn my back to this
All the lies and boos and hiss
I close myself off to stop the pain
I close the windows so I won’t hear the rain
I shut my eyes and avoid the light
I shut my ears to avoid the never ending fight

I battle within myself for something unknown
All I ever want to do is be with you at home
You challenge me and brawl with me
Until there is nothing left of thee
You spit at me and try to cage me
All you have done is truly enrage me

Engaging, flaming and slightly fueling
Our hearts, our souls are forever dueling
We kiss to ease the pain
And intertwine our bodies to do the same
And when our facades start to fade
We begin to battle and bicker,
The words start to come out much quicker
As our love starts to linger
And disappear into the fire
We are now lost in our wrath and our unyielding desire

I scratch at your eyes and you begin to claw
Our insides are on the outside now
Our hearts are bleeding and eternally raw
We have split into two
With no sign of a fix
We have become unglued
All that is left is a pile of sticks

Sticks and stones make break my bones
But your love is the only thing that can hurt me
I will no longer be blind to you
I would rather gouge out my eyes
Then give in to the real you
I cower into the darkness and retreat once more
Then again,
What are we really fighting for?

Displaced

November 15, 2006

Displaced

I’m hanging by the brink of sanity
Dangling by a thread of reality
As I begin to look away
The edges start to fray
A part of me is finally unraveling

I hide within myself
As the days begin to fade away
The pages drop like acid rain
None of my memories can be retained
I have lost control of me
And I need to be detained

Like a dirty window
I try to find the light
With broken nails
I scrub and scrape
And still I wake
Behind the cloud I hope to fight

Jealousy won’t get me too far
I use it as my life crutch
It’s like a cane with a glass emblem
And if it breaks I am completely out of luck

I search my soul and hope to find
Answers that will sooth even the weariest of minds

Logically,
There is a way out
Psychologically,
My heart begins to rage and shout
Mentally,
I am not prepared for this
Finally,
White flags in tow I throw up both fists

I am displaced
I am replaced
I cannot face
Myself